Responding to Correction, Part 2

Yes, Jesus did give correction in many of His interactions. Of course, the hearer's response reflected their heart. Certainly I'd have been one of the right responders to JESUS, but HE isn't the one personally speaking correction to me; I mean this person here...

It's all too easy to get hung up on the particulars, distracted by the expressions on the face in front of me or the tone of voice funneling into my ears. This played out recently as the kids watched an episode of "Restaurant Impossible." Have you seen it? Chef Robert, an imposing muscly fellow equipped with culinary prowess and restaurant know-how, descends on failing food establishments and essentially saves the day. Well upon seeing his serious demeanor and hearing his firm feedback, my tenderhearted kiddos quickly concluded, "He's mean!" Cue the teachable moment (for them and for me.) 

I've shared how God has revealed the wrong ways I perceive and respond to correction. What is the right way? More importantly, how do I apply the right way? What does it look like in everyday life?

Ideally, the admonition I receive is needed, true, and let's dream a little and say it's also given correctly. Maybe it is; maybe it isn't. Instead of reacting, instead of analyzing why or how the corrector has provided feedback, instead of preparing my defense, I should take what was said to the Lord and His Word. Tell Him if I'm hurt, affronted, or fill in the blank, and ask for truth and clarity. Likely there is something to the correction regardless of the messenger's motivation or delivery.

David models this over and over in the Psalms. Often when the conversations begin, there are evidences of the all too familiar Dig In, Deflect, Deflate responses; however, as David processes before the Lord and chews on the TRUTH he does know, a beautiful thing happens: his complaints turn to praise while he is reminded of God's magnitude and His promises, no matter the circumstances or work still to be done.

If I immerse myself in Christ's love, remain focused on knowing Him more and making Him known, and filter correction through His grace and truth, I can more appropriately respond to critique. No, I won't don a sandwich board proclaiming, "Rebuke me now," but maybe I will allow it to stretch and grow me when it inevitably comes.

Within 24 hours of our teachable moment with Chef Robert two weekends ago, the Lord provided an incredible example of Biblical response to correction. It came from Jefferson Bethke, creator of "Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus," a poetic video recently gone viral on facebook and youtube. Here is a snippet of his reply to Kevin DeYoung, who had blogged a detailed, line-by-line critique of Bethke's poem:  

I just wanted to say I really appreciate your article man. It hit me hard....thankful for your words and more importantly thankful for your tone and fatherly like grace on me as my elder. Humbled. Blessed. Thankful for painful growth. Blessings.
Grace and Peace,
Jeff

Wow. Bethke's response is even more impressive if you've read the detailed critique. You don't have to follow the linky words (unless you prefer to do your own research on this, or read blogs written by very scholarly people who don't use Chef Robert as an example), but believe me when I say the review was extensive and the response was admirable.

Lord, may I lay down my defenses and prayerfully consider correction I receive, recognizing it is often a tool of your love. Though the process may be painful, may I praise You all the while, remembering that Jesus, perfect Jesus, continually endured rebuke and so much more for me.

Responding to Correction, Part 1

Back in high school I was called defensive frequently. Yep, and the  " I am NOT " argument doesn't hold a whole lot of water against that accusation. In sports and strategy being defensive is a good thing; in response to correction? Not so much.

Maybe it's just me, but God OFTEN (like everyday) uses my children to reflect attitudes and actions of my own which require adjusting. By the way, I once made the mistake of mentioning the "Mother's Curse" ("One day you're going to have kids & I hope they...") to my kids, and now I'm not going to have any grandchildren. As my youngest plainly put it to a friend, "You know, it's not worth the risk." Anyway, back to the reflection thing. Through my little mirrors (well two are smaller, one's now full-length), God has shown me my primary methods of responding to correction:

1.  Dig in: I'm sorry you feel that way, but you are wrong and I am right.
2.  Deflect: Well, that may be true, but let's talk about you. 
3.  Deflate: It doesn't matter how kindly you spoke or how little you noted; I am crushed.

Man, the truth can be ugly, can't it? I desire to move out of the stages of anger, denial, depression and into acceptance and right response, but I recognize I'm not there yet. However as I truly listen as the Lord tells me why, I know there's hope. If you haven't noticed, this is a processing blog not a how-to (and I'm sorry, I still don't have any Free Printables.)

My problem is perceiving correction as a personal attack I must immediately defend rather than a gift to accept, a necessity for learning and growth. It's evidence of selective absorption. There are countless verses (actually, I'm certain someone has run the exact numbers) on listening to correction and responding to rebuke. How many times did Jesus correct those He loved? And yes, He loved everyone. Bar none, the way the hearers responded to His correction revealed their heart and determined their future. Just as it does mine.

A rebuke goes deeper into a man of understanding than a hundred blows into a fool.
Proverbs 17:10

More parts in my process to come.

A Jump Start

I used jumper cables Tuesday (as in, I didn't just hand them to someone and watch; I actually did the clamping and such). And thanks to the good people who post accurate information on Google, it worked. Of course for the dead battery to come back to life (anyone else just hear Hank Azaria from Night in the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian?); some essential things must occur. Obviously, jumper cables and a battery with juice to spare are needed. Also important is a specific sequence of matching, clamping, and grounding. A good jump start sparks life back into a drained battery.

The other day, my soul battery received a spark as I read a post my incredibly gifted friend, Lynn, wrote about being all in. Before going back to life away from screens, you really should read it for yourself. It's had me thinking; and this morning, several thoughts I've been mulling over in the past months piggybacked on each other and screamed for my attention.

This quarter, I have the wonderful opportunity of revisiting a Bible Study about Heaven I took exactly 5 years ago from another incredibly gifted friend, Suzanne. I'd never had much fear of dying (though there are certainly ways I'd prefer not to go out!) However before that study, my belief in Heaven had little effect on the way I approached life. Over the course of learning more about Heaven, and through many other events, God changed my understanding as well as many of my goals for life here on earth. He even used some novels by Randy Alcorn to increase my excitement about and anticipation of Heaven.

Since the study in 2007, I've remained eager for Heaven; but I've noticed my enthusiasm about the Earth part has waned over time. Not that I dread my everyday life (well, sometimes I do), but my attitude has weighed heavier on "let's get this thing over with and get to the really good stuff!" The past several months, I've been convicted of my lack of cooperation with the training and preparation God has for me in the here and now. I've been reminded He wants me to be "all in" while doing life on this planet.

If you happen to be unfamiliar with me or my theology, you may be wondering what I am talking about. The full answer would require many more words than I can allot for this particular post. In short, I am a Christ follower who constantly messes up and will never outweigh my "bad" with my "good" on my own, but I firmly believe that Jesus' sacrifice on the cross graciously allows me to spend forever in His presence. In that forever Heaven, I will experience the absolute joy of serving, studying, and worshiping the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit together with Christ-followers from every people group. Woohoo!

My prayer is that as I spend time at Jesus' feet, listening to His teaching in the Word and processing anew the truths of Heaven and the purposes of life here, I will be encouraged to press on with excitement and joy as I race on Earth toward the finish line and prize in glory (Philippians 3:14).

What about you? Do you anticipate Heaven and does it affect the way you live in the here and now? Is there a verse God has used along your journey? Does your soul battery have juice to spare or could you use a spark? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Thank you to Lynn and Suzanne, willing cables the Lord has used (along with many others) to jump start my battery. If you'd like to read Lynn's post (and more of her wonderful writing), you can do so here: All in...All the time. If you are near the Athens-Oconee area, you aren't too late to join in on Suzanne's fascinating study on Heaven.

The Beauty is in the Choosing

Maybe it's just my kids, but it seems their most thought provoking questions come at bedtime. Most often, I defer my answer to an hour when I'm not exhausted, or they aren't purposefully evading sleep. Sometimes, their words settle in at the right moment, strike a chord, and I respond.

One night, this question came: "Why doesn't God just make us obey?" As I spoke the answer that many have given, "Well, because then we would be like robots and not people," a picture from a movie the kids liked formed in my head. Do you remember when WALL-E the robot first met Eve? He thought she was quite special and tried to engage with her, but she was programmed for a task. Eve didn't have a will of her own; she was mechanical. She didn't understand friendship, much less love. By the end of the movie, that had changed. Of course, the illustration isn't without flaws, but it helped my son understand "all robot = no relationship."

There are many days when I mess up and think, "Lord, wouldn't it be easier if you just made me to obey?" But then I remember WALL-E and other love stories (ones not involving robots), and I realize the beauty is in the choosing.

There's nothing rewarding in forcing the object of our affection to love us back. But when they choose to love us. Choose us over anything else. That's satisfying. That's thrilling! That's relationship.

God wants relationship, not robots. Though He knew I would fail time and again and could never match His extravagance, God lovingly chose relationship with me through His Son, Jesus. Earnestly, He longs for me to do the same.